Saturday, March 29, 2008

93,94 & some of 95

1993 and 1994 and part of 1995 was pretty much quiet! David's dad had sold the plane right after Bri was born so he didn't do much fun time flying, the only time he flew was for work. Yeah he was home more with us but didn't do much just sat on his rocker, and watched the weather channel and or CNN, Brittany would ask him to do things BUT his answer was always NO,

He never played ball with the boys! The boys didn't start playing football until the yr our neighbors moved in up the street and that was only about 3-4 yrs ago!

 I became pregnant with Brent at the end of 1994.

David's grandmother became ill, a brain tumor! She was 75 in March of 1995 and lost her battle in May 1995 , at her bed side she could barely talk.. But she montioned for me to come over to her, she whispered something in my ear , I could hear her and I asked her to repeat herself... I felt so bad. :*(  BUT she touched my belly and said it again! So I am positive she told me to tell the baby she loved him!

I miss the women so much! She was the glue that held that family together!

Brittany was almost 5, BUT she has memories of her grandmom from when she was 2! and I never really told her ...Not this one anyway She says she remembers ( we use to go to bible school with her on tuesdays) Well Brittany remembers we were sitting on the living room floor and I was fixing her hair and her grandmom came in and she ( Brittany) remembers seeing her grandmom's reflection in the mirror and got all excited! She use to bring Brittany apples and grapes every tuesday! Brittany really looked forward to that! Grandmom use to go real slow past the farms so Brittany could see the cows! Or she would slow down I mean real down so when we were going past a horse and buggy (amish country here). we were actaully going the same speed as the buggy, so Brittany could see! Brittany was her first Great Grand Child and I think she thought she was the best thing since sliced bread!

I miss her so much! If she were still here nothing that happended next would have happened!

Because after she passed away things just started to come unglued! 


Thursday, March 27, 2008


Brian was born Feb, David's first son! You would think he would be more helpful! He probably changed 3 diapers the whole time he was in diapers!

His dad sold their airplane that yr too! Thank Goodness, David was home more now! He wasn't much help but he was home!

He never wanted to do anything with us on the weekends! He claimed he worked all week and was tired! Like I sat home and watched oprah and ate bon-bons all day!!! @@


I made a comment once to David in front of his dad about spending time with his kids more!

His dad pretty much again told me to shut up, that he never spent time with his kids until they were 7!!!!

I didn't think about it then BUT yrs later it would make prefect sense and it would go with what R had told me the night we met in 1988! 5 yrs later thoughts of him still went through my head...

memories of him would go through my head especially when we would go "HOME" to visit his ( David's) family, we had to drive past the firehouse!

At one point he had forbidded me to see my family! He told me they were crazy! Like his family could do NO wrong! EVEN if they did do wrong ( which will come to light soon) they would deny it STILL to this day!!!!


We did lots of flying that year going to Niagara Falls a lot, Maine and Martha's Vineyard and even Kalamazoo Michigan! One night  we even flew to Fal. just for dinner and back again!

Of course his dad was with us pretty much every flight! Except the one to Maine! It was work related! I am suprised he didn't some how weasle his way into going! @@

We came pregnant with Brian that year!


We bought our first home, moved out of our apartment and moved into our home! I didn't really like the house to much! BUT again I was pretty much told in so many words "shut up and sign!"

His dad and mom gave us the closing cost money as a gift! BUT his father seemed to think otherwise! He still came up a lot and everytime he would tell people "WE have a nice house here!"  Like who the heck is WE???  When moving in I put a chair where I WANTED IT and went out to get a box from the truck and came back in and it was facing the oppiste direction of the way I had it, It was facing the door, like I want to have my back to where the TV  hook was! @@ So I switched it to the way I wanted and again went out to get another box! Came back in and the chair was moved again! UGH!!!!! Stupid man get the hint it is MY house I want MY chair this way! and moved it again! After that it stayed my way! I was made to unpack ech box as they came into! I was not to have any boxes with stuff in them by the end of the night! ALL David did was move furinture and stuff I was made to do ALL the unpacking!

Brittany just learned to walk that week too!

We moved a month after her first birthday!

And it was the week of Halloween!!!

March 1990 - Dec 1990

After I left then came back things got a little better. David started to take me on his flights with his dad!

While I was pregnant with Brittany we didn't know if she was a boy or girl and I didn't want to call her , she, he or it... So I nicknamed her doodlebug! 

Sept. 10 1990 Brittany was born. She was born c-section! I was in the hospital for a week after I had her! David worked and came in nights to see us!

One night as he was leaving the hopsital he kissed Brittany good night and he called her Doodlebug, and she turned her head and looked at him! I think she thought that was her name! After all that is what we called her pretty much the whole nine months!

When we were discharged from the hospital David came and got us. He dropped us off and instead of staying home he went back to work! He had used up all his vacation days on his dad and did not have any left to stay home and help me with our new born!!

Things were ok! But not the greatest!! He didn't help out to much! Claimed he couldn't since I nursed!!

He was never really a hands on dad!



Wednesday, March 26, 2008

maybe not

well it's almost 11:30 and I still have not posted, so I may not get the chance. After the kids went to school I went back to sleep, slept until 9:30. Lazed around then took a shower. a looooong shower... lazed around some more and now I am going out for a walk!

I will get back to posting memories soon!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Actually I may post again tomorrow as I have the day off!!!!!


I am not getting my comment alerts to this journal???

is Aol acting up again???






Dec 1989-march 1990

After the miscarriage in Sept the Dr told me to wait at least 4 months to try again! So we did... In DEC we became pregnant again!

David was happy!

I was scared to death that I would lose this baby too! So I was very careful and followed "the book" to a T...

I had every test that a new mom should have...

The AFP test came back positive as if there was something wrong with my baby! David wasn't there for that!

and the Dr ( no bedside manners) told me my options, AS IF!!!! David wasn't there for that!

I was very careful to take my viatim everyday even drink milk even though I hated the stuff!

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time... alone!

David's dad was still pretty much in the picture and getting on my nerves even more! He had David out flying every weekend leaving me at home!

Well it was time to set up an appointment for the ultra sound! and I really wanted David to be there, as I thought he wanted to be there too. So one night while David's dad was at our place I told David you can go flying any day in March EXCEPT MARCH 15th  his dad said WHY? And I told them! Well his dad pretty much in so many words told me to shut up! As if to say I should be seen and not heard!

Well come march 15 where was David??? Not there for me or our baby, where was he you ask? Well you all know the answer to that! where else ?  With his Dad... flying!


So since I didn't drive I had to cancel the appointment...

I had enough! I packed and called my sister... She came and got me and my stuff!! I left...

He got home, came home to an empty home,  and called my mom, where else would I be? I had no friends up here, I had no family close by! So he knew! He called! We talked, I told him that I told him he could go flying any time in march any day BUT the 15th!

I told him just to leave me alone for a while! He cried again and said "well I guess I will never see my baby!"

I went back a week later!!!!

Nov 1989

David and I didn't talk much about the loss of our first baby! It was the first and only time I saw him cry! Well he didn't cry again until march of 1990... and then one more time in Aug of 2001!

BUT 4-5 month into the marriage his dad was hanging around way to much, like he didn't have a wife at home. It really put a strain on our marriage!

One weekend (Nov 2 1989) I went "HOME!"  went out with my best friend and went with her to the grand opening of the NEW fire house in WC that was just opening up that night, the ribbon cutting ceremony and all! There was a huge parade, my friend and I were sitting on the side walk watching the parade and in the parade there were a group of guys who were suppose to be dressed as dead victims from a fire, they all had the same jeans and sweater on but each and everyone had a different mask... R was in the parade under one of those mask and I knew just by the way he looked over at where we were sitting it was him! I could feel his stare!

After the parade we went back to the fire house, had a few drinks to celebrate the new fire house, we , yes "we" back to my friends bf's house and they went up stairs to do their "thing" and it left R and I down stairs to talk! I told him how I lost my first baby, I cried and he listened, David never listened to me!

I told him how I really felt and how I was to scared to ever really tell him, he said he felt the same way! I told him how I felt I had to follow through with marrying David since I was already engaged and I didn't want to disappoint my mom "yet again!" I felt like I was forever disappointing my mom and she like David!We talked until the wee hours and then went our separate ways!

I went back to the lonely apartment... never to see R again, (well until 2002 and then IRL in  2006)

After the wedding

Pretty much after the wedding things with David changed! When the second ring went on he changed!

We had to cut our honeymoon short to come home so his then 17 yr old brother could marry his 16 yr old gf ( no she was not pregnant).. Her parents were moving out of state and they didn't want to be separated so the parents let them get married! what a mistake that was the marriage lasted less then 2 yrs!

BUT yeah after David and I got married he wanted to go back to school in fla and live in his parents house down there with me and his mother said NO, I didn't know she didn't like me, she never let on... well maybe I should have took the hint when one time his father said to me "I like you, BUT Aleta (David's mom) wishes he would find a college educated girl!" Like what the hell does that have to do with "LOVE"?

BUT yet after his bother and his gf got married they moved down to fla and into her vacation home and she had no problem with that!

We lived at my mom's house for about a week, after we got married..., David worked an hour away and hated the drive so we moved.

OH on our wedding night I got pregnant with our first baby, only to lose him/her 8 weeks later!

I mentioned before  how David was devoted to me and spent all his spare time with me before marriage, well after that second ring went on, it all went down hill! He spent more time with his dad then he did with me! his dad was up every other night ( an hour away) and if he wasn't up he was calling at 10pm at night just because he wasn't getting "it" anymore , We were newlyweds how didn't he know we weren't doing "it?"....

David spent his weekend with his dad flying and going places and not taking me! he left me home alone a lot!!!

April 1988


It was April 14 1988 David was away at College, My best friend and I were cruzing the streets of West Chester, she had just started dating a fire man at one of the fire houses in West Chester! Well we went past the firehouse a few times..

WC has one way roads and there is a joke about 2 of them... You go in High and come out Gay! hahaha!

BUT anyway as we went past the fire house for like the third time 2 of the guys were out side! The car windows were opened and I heard one of them say "Let's go!"

So the chase was on! Well long story short... They are from WC and knew the streets better and we were trapped! We came to a stop and all of a sudden the guys popped their head into the passenger side window! I jumped....

They said HI! We said HI... Then the dark hair one says to the blonde "I found the girl of my dreams!.." Then he saw my finger and added "But she's engaged!"  I will start calling the dark hair guy R ( yes for you old time readers of my other J, he IS the "OLD R") and I will call the blond "S"

They asked me who I was engaged to and when I told them who... They said "No way he wouldn't be engaged to you!"

Then I remembered there were 2 David C's in town! And I said "Oh not him, the other one!" Then R says to me "was his dad a principal of ??? the elementary school?" I said "NO! Not that I know of, he sells insurance!" Well R says "No I think he was, and one day he just never came back to work!"  Well I just said "No!" again and we let it go!

It was a Thursday night ...


BUT from that night on from like Thursday night until Sunday from 6pm until 2am we were together, we quickly became best friends! BUT that was ALL nothing more! We knew each other inside and out! Like a favorite book!

He wanted more then a friendship but was to afraid to admit it! I too deep down wanted more too! BUT figured I was trapped, I was engaged to David! I didn't want to disappoint my mom, So I stayed with David!

R and I went to The Rat ( a bar hang out) every weekend , we use to dance and just goof around and have fun! We would go to Denny's at 2 am with the gang and then Back to myfriends bf's house and while they were "busy" upstairs R and I would sit down stairs just talking, Until he got called away to a fire, most of the time they were hot dog fires! @@ at 3 and 4 am who the hell makes hot dogs that time of the day?

We would dance to songs like Al B Sures Night and Day, and Keith Sweats make it last forever, george Michaels One more try... Cheap tricks the flame...

When David came home from college R and I didn't spend as much time together , and R just wasn't around much!!!!

I never told David about my friendship with R but I think he had a feeling something was up!

The night before our wedding my best friends and I went to The Rat for one last girls night out!

R showed up but only for a brief moment! He walked up to me and whispered in my ear "It will never work, BUT I would never tell you what to do!" He walked out and I didn't see him again for 4-5 months!

The day of my wedding I told my mom, That I didn't think I wanted to do this (get married)... She told me "YES you do!"  I said "NO, I don't think I do!"  But she convinced me I did!

I really deep down had wished R would have showed up and stopped the wedding!!

BUT the wedding went and we got married...(7-29-89)


I NEVER questioned David about what R said about his dad and him being a principal, it never came up ever again  between me and R and never came up with David EVER...

until 1995...

The story short ...

So David and I dated 7 years and 2 days before we got married! The very first movie we saw was ET!!!

He was my "First!"  he was devoted to me! When he was away at College we wrote two and three times a week! We called each other 2 and three times a week!

When he was home from college we spent each waking hour togehter!


Monday, March 24, 2008


David and I dated all this time, while he was away at college in another state!!! (FL).


We got married July 29, 1989...


I will be back later to post more!!!

1980 - 1983

By 1980 the age of 14 I was only wearing my brace at bedtime...
I had my first boy friend, Andy... That didn't last long, Then their was Kevin (mentioned in my other J as K, as few times) Then I broke up with K, and went out with Gregg, he broke up with me, and I went out with David (AKA Butthead) (it's now Sept 1982) Got to high school and broke up with David to go back out with Kevin, Kevin pissed me off after spreading a rumor about me and we broke up again... Spring of 1983 David and I got back together!
LOL the very first time David asked me out I said NO, my sister was with me when he asked and apparently when I said NO, he asked why in a meek voice, But I didn't hear him, My sister said "he asked why!"  LOL ... because I was "in love" with Gregg and was waiting for him to ask me out, he did, but that only lasted a month, he cheated on me with another girl, because I wasn't putting out! @@  Then July 27, 1983, David asked me out again and this time I said YES!!!! 
 Sept came and I got to 9th grade and wanted to "SEE" what was out there, BUT Kevin and I got back together! That lasted 4 months! We broke up, and I was single until may of 83 when David called one night and asked me back out, telling me how much he missed me!
We dated 6 yrs, He went to college for all of those yrs and we still dated, we saw each other Christmas, Spring breaks and summer!


1975 I was 9 and the DR's discovered I had scoliosis. At the age of 10 , 10-11-76, I had surgery, at the time I was the youngest to ever have that surgery! I was in bed for 6 months with a full body cast on, I missed a whole yr. of school and had to repeat it the following yr.!
I was in a cast from the age of 9 to 15.
Again I blocked out a lot of those yrs due to the abuse at home and the cruelty of the kids at school! I do remember but I choose to block it out!
My dad wasn't the nicest person or fun to live with! He was mean and crule and told me I was stupid and would never be smart enough to do anything in life! I wanted to be a writer he told me it was stupid! I wanted to be a teacher he told me I was to stupid to be one! I wanted to be a nurse again he told me I was to stupid!
He hated black people and called them the N word! Some of my best freinds were black! He would tell me if I ever came home "knocked up by a black guy ( except he didn't use the word black) He would kill us both!
SO I guess it was ok to come home knocked up by  a white guy?
had I of said that out loud though I would be sporting dentures today!
He would beat my sister daily and was just plain mean to my mom and me! Why she ever went back to him in 1973 I will never know!


Was born and raised in Malvern, PA...
don't remember much of my life
 I remember my parents split up
Then got back together. For a while I lived in Rockledge PA
my parents got back together in I think maybe 1972
In 1973 I got this doll I named her Tina, she went every where with me!
I still have her, she sits on my dresser. She no longer has her original legs though and her arms are held on by ducttape!
After that I don't remember to much, blocked out a lot of my child hood as my dad was very verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes physically! For some reason he beat on my sister more then he did me!
My mom told me they split up that time because he pulled a gun on her and told her he knew how to use it, he wasn't afraid and he didn't care what happended to us ( my sister and I).


I was born Thursday July 14, 1966 @ 6:31 am ......


more to come...


stay tuned...