So like I was saying... (95-2001)

So like I was saying 2 entries ago I really think David's granmother passing away and what his dad did Put a huge strain on our marriage! We grew apart , he talked to me even less then he use too, and started to become distant with me. Not to mention more controlling and emtionaly abusive! He started to tell me who I can see ( friends) and can't! He stopped taking me to see my mom ( my mom does not drive either). He started flying more for his brother... So he says he was flying for his brother, later learn that was yet another one of his many lies!

Started to do even less with the kids!

He changed.

I couldn't stop thinking of the old R after that , what he had told me about my FIL before he became my FIL... I kept thinking "gosh what if I would have asked R more questions?"  "I should of asked David before we got married!" I wanted to talk to R, I wanted to find R and talk to him again, I missed our friendship!!!

Everyone once in a while I would search for him on line, I thought I had found him but nope!

One night I had a dream about him , he was a fire fighter, and in my dream he was helping fight a fire and he had gotten hurts! I woke up scared, it seemed so real! I was so sad! It was weird.....

 

 

This to be continued after Aug 4.... (D-day) (discovery day)...

 

 

Yesterday 19 years ago....

19 yrs ago yesterday I said my "I do's" 7 yrs ago (almost) David said his "I don'ts"

Would of been married 19 yrs ago yesterday!

I think is grandmother dying and is fathers past catching up to him and coming to life again, BUT a BIG strain on our marriage!!!!

I fought to the end to try and fix it! He wanted nothing to do with it!!!

To this day his WHOLE family still denys his father's wronf doings!!!!

OH WELL HIS LOSS!!!!!

I didn't think about the date much yesterday as it does not bother me like it use too!

BUT I had a very bad day yesterday!

VERY stressful!!!

 

So far today is much better!!!!

 

 

 

Aug 1995

Let's see if I can pick up where I left off at....

Lets see David's grandmother had just passed, we were awaiting the birth of our third child...

David;s dad had gone to fla, they had a house down there! He liked to get away a lot without David's mom! RIGHT there should have been some sort of RED flag!!! Like father like son ( GOD I hope my sons aren't like their dad)!!!

Anywho while his dad was away in fla our Son Brent was born Aug 21 1995!!!

Well Sam cam rushing home to see his grandson ( so I thought that was the reason he was rushing home)!

2 weeks later Brittany was having her 5th b-day... I invited the whole family and my friends!

Well things were crazy here kids every where! I was trying to read Brittany her birthday cards and my fil ( pain in the ass) was reading over me, a book to one of Brittany's guest! I shot him a dirty look and read louder! He read louder! He is such a moron!!

One time in so many words he told me to shut up that I should be seen and not heard! 

Well present time was over we all went out back to play! So I thought we ALL went out to play! I came in to get something, and I hear my one nephew at the bottom of the steps calling for "grandpa"! I tell him "grandpa is out side!" he insist grandpa was upset stairs so after a few minutes of trying to tell him I was right and he was wrong ( glad he insisted)... I picked him up and said "Come on, I will show you!" So we went upstairs to "look"  and low and behold , my friends seven yr old came running out of Brian's room almost knocking me down and flew down the stairs like a bat out of hell! then my FIL followed, but yet he pushed past me to get into the bathroom! 

Brian's bedroom was darker then dark! I had mini blinds in his room a draw shade and heavy curtains, so he could sleep. ALL which were closed, so the room was darker then dark!

I went down stairs with josh and told him to go out and play which at that time my best friend was in the living room and her son had darted out the front door! She asked what happened?I said I am not sure, but told her what I had seen! My fil was in the upstairs bathroom for over thirty minutes!

2 weeks after that david was pretty much being followed by uncovered cops and the chief of police was showing up here asking me questions... They followed David all the way to west Chester to his dad's home, but that time his dad was long gone out of the country! the police had followed David there... and When his mother answered the door to the police she said "NOT again!"

The police that showed up here had told me that my fil was a child molester and that this was not his first time. Apparently he had done time for this before in 1976.... Remember I mentioned the OLD R swearing up and down that my fil was a principal at his school yrs ago and I kept saying NO he was confused!!!!!!!!

BOY he was right and I was the one confused! When R told me that in April of 88 (  wrote about that in my April 88 entry)  I never mentioned it to David because I never in a ,million years thought R was right!!!  I so wish I would have asked David! BUT apparently according to my one BIL (bother in law) when his mom had said "NOT again!" all three of them were shocked! My one brother in law ( the only one that would talk to me about this)remembers his dad being gone for a time in 1976 BUT he remembers his mom saying he was away doing missionary work!!!

Any way the police showed up here again asking me where he was... and that he was also wanted in fl for the same thing! So after the police left I looked it up on line and sure enough there is was a copy of his warrant...

 

So much for him wanting to come home and see Brent the date of the warrant was Brent's birthday! Here he messed with another little boy in fl who was 7 at the time!

He had a thing for 7 yr olds!  The little boy in 76 was 7 also!

Looking back some things he had said to me should have been red flags!

When Brian was one I said to David he should spend more time with his son! And my FIL's response was "I didn't spend any time with my boys until they were 7!"  makes me wonder if he didn't mess with David? makes me half wonder if that is half of david;s problem and why he left? He left when Brian turned 7!!!maybe he was afraid he would turn out like his dad and was protecting  his sons?

Sam was gone for 7 yrs... There is a statue of limitations and he thought it was UPlittle did he know NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!  not of he left the country , it was as if time stood still, because when he tried to come back he got busted! Had he stayed in the country and moved around from state to state and never got caught time would have ran out! BUT since he left the county time stopped!

Well he was let go of his position in another country's "Christian school" and was trying to get back in the states through HI and the US marshals busted him... and hauled his ass back to fla!  Sadly though the parents of the boy in fla dropped the charges! I think money talks, MY rich BIL probably paid them off ( not the one who talked to me)... and he was sent back to PA to the judge here for my friends son! Sadly there was not enough evidence and he is Scott free today!!!! He left in 95 and came back in 2003.

BUT that is why I do not like my kids going there!

TRIGGERS

 

I interrupt this trip down memory (nightmare lane) for a late breaking trigger!!!!!!!

I hate these things I call triggers!!!!!!!

I wish I didn't have them! BUT they always seem to hit me when CS is late!

 

And so as you may have  guessed it's late... again!!!!  Turns out the three of them went to Paris!!! Must be nice to use your kids , from your first marriage, their money for trips with your new family!

last night he calls, they are back! Well he makes it sound like he is back from his business trip! Yeah business my A$$ try monkey business!

I ask him if he sent CS he says "yeah just this morning!" asked him if he was lying again and if it would be another 2 weeks before it was really sent! he said NO he sent it!

Then I hear their kid in the back ground so she and the kid are back too! So he didn't really go away on business! he went to Paris with her!

I don't get why he feels like still after 7 yrs he has to lie to me!

@@

So his lies and no CS always make me think of the bad times!

Like when he was first leaving me, how I asked him why!

You know what he told me???

Because she had been alone for 15 yrs and he felt sorry for her!!!!!!!!!

 

HELLO SAY WHAT????


maybe there was a reason she has been alone that long!

 

What about me and your kids won't you feel sorry for us and when leave us! and leave us without a ATM card to buy milk and bread!!!!!!

 

he didn't say a word he just looked like a deer caught in the head lights!

JERK!!!!!!!!!!!

He hasearned himself a new nick name gone are the days of BUTTHEAD  ... or BH... he has now been crowned king of RAT BASTARD (RB).

 

Now back to your regular post!!!!

93,94 & some of 95

1993 and 1994 and part of 1995 was pretty much quiet! David's dad had sold the plane right after Bri was born so he didn't do much fun time flying, the only time he flew was for work. Yeah he was home more with us but didn't do much just sat on his rocker, and watched the weather channel and or CNN, Brittany would ask him to do things BUT his answer was always NO,

He never played ball with the boys! The boys didn't start playing football until the yr our neighbors moved in up the street and that was only about 3-4 yrs ago!

 I became pregnant with Brent at the end of 1994.

David's grandmother became ill, a brain tumor! She was 75 in March of 1995 and lost her battle in May 1995 , at her bed side she could barely talk.. But she montioned for me to come over to her, she whispered something in my ear , I could hear her and I asked her to repeat herself... I felt so bad. :*(  BUT she touched my belly and said it again! So I am positive she told me to tell the baby she loved him!

I miss the women so much! She was the glue that held that family together!

Brittany was almost 5, BUT she has memories of her grandmom from when she was 2! and I never really told her ...Not this one anyway She says she remembers ( we use to go to bible school with her on tuesdays) Well Brittany remembers we were sitting on the living room floor and I was fixing her hair and her grandmom came in and she ( Brittany) remembers seeing her grandmom's reflection in the mirror and got all excited! She use to bring Brittany apples and grapes every tuesday! Brittany really looked forward to that! Grandmom use to go real slow past the farms so Brittany could see the cows! Or she would slow down I mean real down so when we were going past a horse and buggy (amish country here). we were actaully going the same speed as the buggy, so Brittany could see! Brittany was her first Great Grand Child and I think she thought she was the best thing since sliced bread!

I miss her so much! If she were still here nothing that happended next would have happened!

Because after she passed away things just started to come unglued! 

 

1993

Brian was born Feb, David's first son! You would think he would be more helpful! He probably changed 3 diapers the whole time he was in diapers!

His dad sold their airplane that yr too! Thank Goodness, David was home more now! He wasn't much help but he was home!

He never wanted to do anything with us on the weekends! He claimed he worked all week and was tired! Like I sat home and watched oprah and ate bon-bons all day!!! @@

 

I made a comment once to David in front of his dad about spending time with his kids more!

His dad pretty much again told me to shut up, that he never spent time with his kids until they were 7!!!!

I didn't think about it then BUT yrs later it would make prefect sense and it would go with what R had told me the night we met in 1988! 5 yrs later thoughts of him still went through my head...

memories of him would go through my head especially when we would go "HOME" to visit his ( David's) family, we had to drive past the firehouse!

At one point he had forbidded me to see my family! He told me they were crazy! Like his family could do NO wrong! EVEN if they did do wrong ( which will come to light soon) they would deny it STILL to this day!!!!

1992

We did lots of flying that year going to Niagara Falls a lot, Maine and Martha's Vineyard and even Kalamazoo Michigan! One night  we even flew to Fal. just for dinner and back again!

Of course his dad was with us pretty much every flight! Except the one to Maine! It was work related! I am suprised he didn't some how weasle his way into going! @@

We came pregnant with Brian that year!