Thursday, July 31, 2008

So like I was saying... (95-2001)

So like I was saying 2 entries ago I really think David's granmother passing away and what his dad did Put a huge strain on our marriage! We grew apart , he talked to me even less then he use too, and started to become distant with me. Not to mention more controlling and emtionaly abusive! He started to tell me who I can see ( friends) and can't! He stopped taking me to see my mom ( my mom does not drive either). He started flying more for his brother... So he says he was flying for his brother, later learn that was yet another one of his many lies!

Started to do even less with the kids!

He changed.

I couldn't stop thinking of the old R after that , what he had told me about my FIL before he became my FIL... I kept thinking "gosh what if I would have asked R more questions?"  "I should of asked David before we got married!" I wanted to talk to R, I wanted to find R and talk to him again, I missed our friendship!!!

Everyone once in a while I would search for him on line, I thought I had found him but nope!

One night I had a dream about him , he was a fire fighter, and in my dream he was helping fight a fire and he had gotten hurts! I woke up scared, it seemed so real! I was so sad! It was weird.....



This to be continued after Aug 4.... (D-day) (discovery day)...



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