Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Nov 1989

David and I didn't talk much about the loss of our first baby! It was the first and only time I saw him cry! Well he didn't cry again until march of 1990... and then one more time in Aug of 2001!

BUT 4-5 month into the marriage his dad was hanging around way to much, like he didn't have a wife at home. It really put a strain on our marriage!

One weekend (Nov 2 1989) I went "HOME!"  went out with my best friend and went with her to the grand opening of the NEW fire house in WC that was just opening up that night, the ribbon cutting ceremony and all! There was a huge parade, my friend and I were sitting on the side walk watching the parade and in the parade there were a group of guys who were suppose to be dressed as dead victims from a fire, they all had the same jeans and sweater on but each and everyone had a different mask... R was in the parade under one of those mask and I knew just by the way he looked over at where we were sitting it was him! I could feel his stare!

After the parade we went back to the fire house, had a few drinks to celebrate the new fire house, we , yes "we" back to my friends bf's house and they went up stairs to do their "thing" and it left R and I down stairs to talk! I told him how I lost my first baby, I cried and he listened, David never listened to me!

I told him how I really felt and how I was to scared to ever really tell him, he said he felt the same way! I told him how I felt I had to follow through with marrying David since I was already engaged and I didn't want to disappoint my mom "yet again!" I felt like I was forever disappointing my mom and she like David!We talked until the wee hours and then went our separate ways!

I went back to the lonely apartment... never to see R again, (well until 2002 and then IRL in  2006)
 ...

1 comment:

fisherkristina said...

So Sharon, are you going to be posting in this journal, or I Am A Survivor?  I am a little confused.  Or both?

Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink